Hello! It’s been a min!
I write to you today from Juan’s parent’s house in LA, sun shining, fresh oranges ready to eat. In fact, the last time I attempted to write a newsletter it was about our trip in September when we came for our birthdays, where I got to go surfing for the first time in something like 17 years.
Reflecting back on this year and honestly, it’s been a freakin ride…. and it’s also why I haven’t posted as much. If I was to define my 2024 in one word I’d probably say “exhausting” with some unexpected pockets of radical joy. Took my very first trip to Europe where upon arrival I was incredibly ill, and on the last day I was there, I woke up to a cryptic text from Juan that he got hit by a car and broke his leg while riding his bicycle… kind of a bookended trip of stress, everything that happened in between was a blast tho!
Spent late spring, early, and mid summer taking care of Juan and the pup while his leg healed. My grandmother passed away in July and then his grandmother passed 2 weeks later. While enduring one of the most stressful trips to NY for my grandmothers funeral in early August, I walked away feeling closer to my blood relatives and chosen family than I ever had. I also got to meet baby Maris and baby Adrienne, and see old friends <3
Shortly after this trip to NY, I went no contact with my mom. It feels very scary to say this on any sort of platform. There’s a lot of shame in estrangement, it still feels like such a big taboo subject even though so many people experience it or know someone who has, and it’s something I’ve been working through for years. A vast emotional minefield: the tiptoeing around, the hiding, the living in fear, the awkward conversations and explanations that happen around it (especially around the holidays) with well meaning people who don’t fully understand… and to be honest I still don’t know how to talk about it myself at times, but I’m learning to live with a little less fear and shame around it than I used to. Here’s a great article Paul sent me that made me feel a lot of validation, less alone, and gives a tremendous amount of nuance- everyone’s story is so different.
Thank you to friends who have listened to me and given space not just this year but over several years to talk through these complicated issues, I love you <3
X-Ray Spex, Germfree Adolescents, 1978
Basically I put this album on the day after the election and haven’t stopped listening since, “The Day the World Turned Day-Glo” may have gotten more repeats than others. Album of the month, album of the last two months, Poly Styrene was such a badass.
Spent the fall taking a 3D animation class, my eyes and brain hurt regularly but worth it, and now feel way more confident in 3D software. Here’s the scoop: I’ve been wanting to really learn 3D because I want to create an animated short- been imagining it for over a year ( a mix of 2D and 3D), and am finally feeling in a place where I can get started. Very much still in the moodboard and story boarding phase, but looking foward to what’s to come, it feels nice to have that spark of creativity again that’s been missing for a while. More to come on that in 2025!
The Truman Show, 1998
I only ever saw this as a young kid and didn’t really grasp it. Really fun to re-visit, and damn, ahead of it’s time! The camera angles, the intentional product placement. Juan and I took his niece and nephew on a Paramount Studio tour while in LA this last week and we actually got to see the lot where they filmed the scene when Truman is on his sailboat and Christof is ordering for more storm. We learned that this was also where they filmed the surfing scene in Orange County. It’s only a 4 ft deep lot (wish I took a pic!), gotta love that movie magic <3
On a quick note, I attended xoxo fest this August with Simon and Johnny… there were some incredible speakers but one of the ones I found the most moving was from Erin Kissane where she discusses her experience with creating the COVID tracking project. I highly rec the watch, and grabbing a box of tissues while your at, seriously, I was full on sobbing in that audience.
I’ll close this post out with some of my personal highlights from 2024 in the video above, I’m not much of a new years resolution type but one thing I know for certain is that I want to do a hell of a lot less scrolling (stop giving my time to these bs billionaires and their apps) and more human interactions, showing up more to events/activities/volunteering/creating art/workshops etc. I hope to see more of you out irl in 2025, much love, take care y’all <3 <3 <3
Love the video! That was a hooooot